Tuesday, March 23, 2010

2 Cent Tuesdays: Teen Cribs

I actually used to enjoy the show Cribs on MTV. I admired the wonderful things and album or in some cases song could buy people. The rappers with their 20 cars or the basketball players with their custom made beds to fit their long legs. Now, I have outgrown this show and for the most part MTV the channel (except for teen mom, I’m riveted). While channel surfing I saw Teen Cribs listed and hit select out of curiosity and boredom. What I saw appalled me. I was under the misconception it was a spin off featuring the homes of teen singers and stars. It’s a spin-off alright but it features children lucky enough to be born to wealthy parents. It should not be called Teen Cribs; it should be called spoiled brats who live in large parentally acquired housing. The kids seem nice enough while interviewing until the end when they dive into their parent’s pool or ride ATVs on their parents sprawling property, then their all “bye losers”. I had no problem with the original Cribs because I figured those people had worked hard to earn it. These kids haven’t done anything yet and the “Cribs” aren’t really theirs. I didn’t own my parents house. I just stayed there until the day I could afford my own digs which were only worthy of a show that could be called “Cribs On a Budget”. In a recession I heavily doubt that some kid is happily sitting at home with his dad who has been laid off and mom who has been cut to part time, standing next to his/her near empty fridge, watching some little 13 year old skateboard from his room to the dining room complete with candy chandeliers and a carousel. Talk about depression factor. I would like the show more if the parents were featured in it and it was called “Family Cribs” or “Yo Momma’s Cribs” because then it would represent reality. The parents have worked very hard for what the teens are enjoying and should be present at all times. But I do not and will not enjoy watching some teen waltz around like scoring in the parental lottery was an accomplishment all their own. Yeah, I’m bitter, but I know I’m not the only one who’s thought this.

So there it is, my first 2 Cent Tuesdays Post. If you'd like to join in write your own 2 Cent Tuesdays post on the topic of your choice (or mine if you like), paste the button at the top of this post into your post, and come on back to link up. I can't wait to check out everyone's posts. I will be commenting back!


Monday, March 22, 2010

Getting to Know You Sunday (on Monday)

Here are this weeks questions. To join in click on the button above.

1. What year did you graduate high school?
I did not. I received my GED in like 95 or 96.

2. What part of your body do you neglect the most?
My feet. I used to get consistent pedicures and lately I have been hard pressed to even put lotion on the damn things.

3. Beach house or Lake house?
Beach house. I love the sound of the waves as I doze off and you can't beat sand between your neglected toes.

4. Mac or PC?
PC. Don't know why really.

5. Did you wear braces?
No.

6. If you could be one person for a day..living or deceased..who would you be?
Though it's not a very specific answer I wold want to be an attractive male. I would love to see things from the male perspective.

7. How many times have you moved in your life?
22 times. We weren't even an army family. I just had a very adventurous mother. We stayed in the same 2 states every time.

8. Would you rather cook or clean?
Cook. What the hell is cleaning again?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Coming Soon: 2 Cent Tuesdays

Next week I am starting my very own internet meme. I got the term meme from Keely over at MannLand5 so I looked it up on Wikipedia. They define an internet meme as “a phrase used to describe a concept that spreads quickly via the internet”. We bloggers and blogettes know these “internet memes” as posts like Wordless Wednesdays or Keely’s Getting to Know You Sunday. There is a lot more on Wikipedia about the meaning and origin of memes but I think you get my point (if not click the link and go see). I think these are fun and a great way to strike up blog talk so I am starting one. It will be every Tuesday and it’s called 2 Cent Tuesdays (not to be confused with any other Two Cents Tuesdays where bloggers simply express their own opinion weekly, this is a social 2 Cent Tuesdays). I know as bloggers we all have opinions but I am offering one day a week when you put in your 2 cents on the topic of your choice freely and without repercussion (I guess I can’t guarantee that last bit because comments will be comments). Like or hate a movie? Post your 2 Cents. Overhear but are left out of a discussion between your husband and his friend or mother? Post your 2 Cents. Was a decision made somewhere in the world you didn’t agree with? Post your 2 Cents. I have more than enough pennies to put my 2 cents in EVERYWHERE but not enough people who want them so I am inviting you to play along as I place them here on my blog. You may have heard the saying “opinions are like assholes and everyone has one”. Well, link yours up here every Tuesday and we’ll all have a good look sans judgment. Consider it opinion proctology. The rules are simple. Write your 2 Cent post, copy and paste the 2 Cent Tuesday button/link (currently under construction) somewhere in the post, then return here to link up via McLinkey. That’s it! So as stated above I will be rolling this sucker out next Tuesday and would love for anyone reading to join in and please, bring yo friends.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Hell Yeah, It's Time to Pottay!!!

You guessed it; I’ve got a toilet trainer in the hizzy. Just when I thought I was going to be changing diapers indefinitely my 3 ½ year old made the decision to start using the bathroom like a normal human being. I have been trying to get this kid to use the toilet instead of the more convenient pants option for the last year with no advancement until last week. Last Wednesday we got up and as usual I offered him the toilet but this time he willingly agreed. After, I offered underwear which he politely accepted as if I was offering the bread basket at dinner. Since that wonderful day he has only had 4 accidents. That little dude was totally playing me! Acting like he couldn’t use the damn toilet when the whole time he just didn’t want to until he was the one calling the shots. This kid has taught me and the hubs about parenting. He makes pretty much all of the decisions for his own advancements (except for bottle intervention, that was all me). He made the decision to give up his pacifier, he decided when he was going to sleep in a toddler bed, and he will soon run the world I am sure. I am very proud of him and he is totally getting a Toys R Us shopping spree tomorrow courtesy of the hubs.

Did I mention that my son is also a money grubbing whore? I tried stickers and candy to no avail. Then, while I was relaxin and partying in New Orleans my mother in law found out the kid loves money. Quarters, nickels, dimes you name it he will do anything to get some. This is what I used during toilet boot camp. Yeah, I paid my kid to shit. He doesn’t need the money now because he just goes, but that first week cost me like 20 bucks. Well worth it to only change one person’s ass in the house (my 2 year old still needs to train but I am far too focused on the on the oldest right now and don’t want to short change either kid).

This post is my up yours to the “experts” who write books and hold seminars that create panic and competition in the mommy world. I became so focused on what my kid should be doing according to other kids and books that I didn’t realize his version of “ready” was totally different from everyone else’s. “They” define ready as dry diapers and mild interest in the toilet but “they” have not met my power hungry toddler. He defines ready as “I tell you when it’s time bitch”. I am proud of my little potty pioneer. Not just that he is going to the bathroom but that he has an independent spirit and can make intelligent decisions for himself. I hope this carries through to the years when he will be offered substances and activities which are illegal and harmful. I would much rather he intelligently pick and choose his drugs and felonies than just go along with the latest high.

Lash sportin his boxer briefs

How did your kid toilet train? Was it early or late (whatever that means)?


Monday, March 15, 2010

Getting to Know You Sunday (on Monday)


I found MannLand5 while snooping around at Mass Hole Mommy and I thought this looked like fun. I think she does it weekly so I am going to try to use this to introduce some consistency to my blog (no guarantees made folks). Whoever reads and likes this please go to her site, copy the questions for post, and link up. Here goes:

1. What's your favorite Easter candy?
Cadbury Cream Eggs. I know, pure sugar but pure joy as well.

2. Who do you think is cleaner..men or women?
Definitely women. I have 4 dudes in this house and it gets down right nasty when I go on strike.

3. Which do you prefer..wordy blog posts or ones with pictures?
Wordy. I'm a reader and enjoy a good writer any day. With all of the contests and giveaway blogs (no offense to them) I get a little sentimental for a wordy blog.

4. Were you popular in highschool?
No. Everyone knew me but it was more of a little sister vibe than a popular one.

5. What's your bra size?
34D

6. How many states have you lived in?
California and Nevada

7. What's one blog you read every day?
Out-Numbered I get a kick out of that guy.

8. Peanut butter or Nutella?
Peanut Butter. I've never had Nutella.


Friday, March 12, 2010

To Cut or Not To Cut?

That is the question and I think I have finally found the answer. Since I had my sons I have been contemplating the very self indulgent practice called a tummy tuck. At my heaviest with my second son I weighed 201 pounds. I gained 70 pounds twice in 2 years. I have lost all of that but have been left with a deflated kangaroo pouch in the front. My ass, thighs, and arms all went back to normal but my stomach is this round sagging thing. It’s not huge, but unattractive none the less. Workout? I tried but cannot stand exercise (I also think that due to my pregnancies the muscles in my stomach might be shot,). I have never had to in my life and though it sounds ridiculous I just can’t seem to get up the gumption (I’m lazy as hell). I am not exaggerating or trying to sound pompous, I really haven’t had to work at fitness. Sure I’ve gained and lost 5 pounds frequently over the years but I just don’t put on enough to be a health risk or avoid swimsuits, until my 2 little bundles of joy of course.

My husband and I have discussed surgery on and off over the last year and for a long time it was agreed if I worked out for 6 months and nothing really changed I could have the surgery. Recently we came to a new realization. I could go in one day and come out completely fixed. I have never been a heavy person so it’s not like I would gain 100 pounds and ruin the results in a year. My body would stay that way pretty much for the rest of my life (with allowance for some chub here and there, I’m not an alien). It would be an investment.

What exactly am I “workin with” you ask. Since I am too embarrassed to actually include a photo of my stomach I will say that my before photo would look something like a combo of this woman's before and after photos:

Before / After




I have the tummy of the “before” picture with the ass, hips, and ribs of the “after” photo. That shit just doesn’t match and it causes me great stress when undressing. Add to that the jacked up condition of my damn belly button piercing (yes I hopped on that whore train to celebrate my college graduation 5 years ago). My once boarder line hot piercing is so stretched it barley keeps 14 gage jewelry in and I don't wear the jewelry it looks like I have 2 belly buttons (that’s an exaggeration but it doesn’t look good). I think it would be wonderful to just have my flabby little free loader cut off and thrown away. I have achieved a confidence in my adulthood that as a teenager did not exist (highschool trauma saved for another time). But this damn sack of skin gives me pause every time. If I walk by a mirror naked I have to lift it and mess with it no matter how many times I’ve seen the damned thing. It gots to go. It’s closing time and my stomach has completely overstayed its welcome.

Along with the wonderful things I have also explored the cons of the surgery (I’ve had a long time to think this through as I constantly surveyed my children’s leftovers). First, I am afraid of the whole put to sleep anesthesia thing. I have not had any real surgery since my tonsils when I was 2 which I don’t remember and I was awake for my C-sections. Second, I am a little wary of the recovery. My mom has agreed to come in and help with the kids for a week and my wonderful husband has offered to get he and I a hotel room for the first few days so I guess recovery wouldn’t be too bad (except for the searing pain). The third and last reason I hesitated was a bit strange. My husband had mentioned I would probably lose my c-section scar. I got sentimental for like 2 seconds about losing my badge of honor, the mark of the exit hole which brought my boys into the world. Then I decided the new and probably larger scar would take its place and without the bloated pot belly above it, I wouldn’t miss the c-section scar that much.

I know it’s vain and lazy to take this route but I also believe it would restore that last bit of confidence I am missing. I would be able to wear a two piece again. I wouldn’t have to avoid certain clothes because my tummy still looks like I’m 3 months pregnant and I would fit some of the clothes I own better. I am willing to keep up my body once the surgery is done. I would not become a “surgery slut” afterward and pull a Montag, completely distorting my face and body so that I look like a plastic blowfish (I like the rest of me just fine thank you). This procedure would be to simply help me to enjoy my body the way that I used to.

My first course of action right now is getting a consultation and finding out about pricing/financing (that shit is expensive and we aren’t rich). I think I found a doctor that does a great job and who sets up a plan whereby you set up the surgery with payments being made in the time before. That could work. So other people’s opinions aside, I think I’m going to go for it. I want to be sexy dammit and having a deflated balloon for a tummy 2 years after my last child just doesn’t do sexy any justice. I will come back to log my research findings once I complete the consult.

What do you think? Is it wrong to take the easy way out and have the surgery? If you could, would you have a surgery to fix something about yourself?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

My Coupons Get No Respect

I have recently taken up coupon clipping. For some strange reason I find it exciting to find coupons for the exact stuff I need and I get a rush from upping my savings each time. I have never really used coupons before and only decided to recently when I found the effect it had on me (it also makes me feel fiscally responsible). It’s kind of like heroin and I need my fix. It can be very calming to sit and cut those little babies out or search online for hours. Aside for the selfish reasons I use coupons I feel that in these economic times showing some savings initiative should ward a little respect, but sadly, it does not. The other evening me and my little Fam went to Walmart to catch up on some vacation neglected grocery shopping. Now, I know I kind of preached in my post Washington’s Chickens Roost in our Homes about warehouse stores but I only use Walmart for dry goods and dairy while all of my meat, produce, and in between purchases are made at our neighborhood Albertsons (I try to spread the wealth while keeping some of it for myself, my small attempt at being good karmically).

I happily held my 25 bucks worth of coupons as we wandered through gathering our much needed supplies (all the while dealing with 2 tired and hungry toddlers). Our basket was full to say the least. We hauled ass to the check out and I started to load the belt while my husband took off to get a second cart for the bagged stuff (I always load the belt because I am hella anal about how the items get bagged. Who wants flat bread and popped grapes?). The cashier finally got done ringing everything up to a grand total of $310.00 as my husband looked on warily. I handed over my little pile of coupons (at this point only one woman is behind us). As the cashier started to scan the coupons things went south very quickly. I had like 3 buy one get one free coupons which instead of just scanning the cashier insisted on WRITING the price of the freebie on the coupon forcing my husband to dig for those items so she could find the price to write (you would assume scanning the stupid coupon would remove the needed item but evidently that is a ridiculous expectation). I also had a coupon for a free 32 load jug of Tide (FREE!) which the damn cashier could not get to work. By this time 3 more people had joined our line as the cashier hand inputted my computer printed coupons which were too light to scan. I looked back and was greeted by several annoyed faces in my line which in turn made me annoyed myself (my husband laughs because I am not one to yell or chew someone out but my body movements and facial expression give away every ounce of rage I might be feeling). Questions started going through my head fueling my inner fire. Why isn’t this cashier more efficient? Am I the first person to use coupons EVER? Why is everyone else so annoyed, where the hell do they have to be with loads of groceries? Where are my props for trying to save some dough for my little family?

There seems to be a ridiculous and unfair stigma that is placed on people with coupons. It is especially disappointing during these trying times. What if the mother in front of you is using her last 100 dollars and the coupons are getting her bill down under that budget? It seems so acceptable to have no patience or time for anyone else but not acceptable to inconvenience others with your basic human needs. Because of these annoyed assholes behind me I ended up forfeiting the free Tide (snatching it from the cashier passive aggressively). The other coupons which were used took my final bill from $301 to $280 which I was proud of and my husband congratulated me for, but the people in line were less than impressed. I apologize for ruining your evening Walmart jaunt and subsequently your life. Even though I didn’t need the coupons because we had budgeted for the shopping trip to be a large one I feel the need to try, whenever possible, to save were I can. So to those people behind me, fuck you if you’re too impatient and self involved to allow others to prosper. There were other lines. Maybe you do your shopping late at night when the store is emptier and you won’t have to deal with the rest of us (and us with you).

Either way, I apologized to the lady directly behind me as we left (even though it was the cashier’s inefficiency that made my coupons so traumatic for others). We personally considered it a successful shopping trip because of the savings and the fact our boys held up really well throughout (if you’re a parent you know this fact makes ANY outing successful). Next time I am going to collect like 50 coupons. Then while the cashier slowly puts them in, as they always do, I will smile smugly at those behind me refusing to be affected by their obvious lack of coupon respect.

Have you ever been subject to coupon disrespect? If not, have you had to deal with some other type of grocery store disrespect? Or are you the disrespector?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Juicy Couture Birthday Wishes

In 2 months and 2 days I will be turning 32 years old. I don’t mind getting older yet because I don’t really feel any older than I did when I was 25. I have also been told I could still pass for late twenties so age doesn’t bother me. Most years there is nothing specific I want for my birthday so my wonderful Hubs wings it and has always been successful with little to no direction from me. This year is different. 2 years ago, on Christmas, my husband helped fuel my current obsession with Juicy Couture. I really wanted a track suit so he went out and bought me 3 along with the cutest pink purse. Now, I know the tracksuits are ridiculed by many but I love them. They fit really well, are super cozy, and have held up over the past 2 years (they do not say Juicy across the ass. There are some things that are only appropriate if you’re 17 and even then Juicy across your ass is questionable). This last year he returned to our local Juicy store and purchased my favorite perfume, a pair of Pjs and this badass wallet:
Say what you will, but Juicy makes some quality clothing and though I’m not big on shopping in stores where you spend 200 bucks on one item I make occasional exceptions for that store (I’m not really big on shopping at all). That leads us back to my birthday. Due to Hubby’s frequent Christmas trips to the store we now receive the sales catalog and this past week I found exactly what I want for the big B. It is this Terry Short Sleeve Puff Zip-up Romper in Black Size medium (I know you’re reading baby):






It gets super hot here and this would be great to wear around town or at the lake over my swimsuit. I know you’re thinking “How can terry cloth be comfy in the summer?” but it is super breathable and feels like you’re wearing a soft towel. I kept the sales catalog and marked the page so that along with this blog may insure the ultimate acquirement of this romper. The other item I would love to own from this fine store is this Easy Rider Free Style Bag (winter white):

That purse would go great with my wallet (shown above). Though I am wary of white in general this purse is too fuckin awesome to let color be a factor! There it is, my two birthday wishes. Kind of a fluff post but necessary none the less.

What would you like for your birthday this year?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Washington's Chickens Roost in our Homes

Why do we expect such moral aptitude in Washington when we ourselves do not practice what we preach? I am not saying everyone is corrupt, but many people are when it serves their purpose. Small to large business and the home have increasingly become places of questionable practices. Some infractions small and some big, but all pushing the moral envelope.
In construction it can be found in the client who awards a contract to a contractor mentioning during the meeting that there is a need in their personal life as well. Never mind hiring the contractor because they do a great job and serve your company well. No, you’re entitled to some type of assistance because you just gave their company work (which they deserve and you required anyway). While most times this isn’t identified as a kick back (kick back in sheep’s clothing) because assurances of wanting nothing more than to pay for this extra work are made, the contractor feels the pressure to charge less than market value or nothing at all because the “extra” was mentioned while signing paperwork for a job that will keep their employees working. Don’t think the person doing the asking isn’t aware of this fact. Why else would they ask at such an opportune time?
Or the hypothetical example of the couple who can afford their home but because values have dropped and the house isn’t worth what it should be they walk hoping to get something bigger and better that someone else honestly could not afford. According to statistics these strategic defaults aren’t that prevalent. Yet. With more and more people becoming upset by the overspending and backdoor deals in Washington and the few banks coming back for more bailout these strategic defaults are in danger of being justified by flimsy excuses. If the banks or our politicians can act irresponsibly than why shouldn’t we? Maybe in this instance some thought should be given to what a strategic default will do to your neighbors who now find their already depreciated investment falling even further because of a frivolous foreclosure just happened next door.
There’s also shoppers that feel entitled to super deals and complete flexibility in the market place because times are tough (I am flexible on this one because it’s hard to judge someone for trying to get a deal on things for their family and/or enjoyment). Who cares that a 70% off sale may put a smaller store in the red, it’s a buyers market and if you want our business you better offer some incentive. Does it matter that the goods being sold outside of food and clothing aren’t a necessity and deal or no deal it’s on the buyer to make responsible purchases for their home? Of course not, we drive prices down by flocking to warehouse store sales for that bigger TV (which we finance in hopes we’ll pay it off soon) making smaller businesses take risks in order to keep some kind of business going. Is it immoral to ignore Harry the home town appliance store owner to get a better price at Best Buy? Probably not, but I wonder when I make such purchases (again this example is a little sketchy because in Vegas we don’t have many Harry the small shops so of course you go to a large warehouse type store. Who am I to judge others then? My husband and I do however, frequent small restaurants in our area as often as possible instead of the more lavish and hip ones to help keep the small ones going).
These examples lead me to my title, Washington. Everyone is so appalled and dismayed about the state by state deals in our health care bill or the fact that Congress pockets its unused travel per diem instead of giving it back to the taxpayers but out here we’re no better. My belief is that your expectations of others should match those you hold for yourself. It is unfair to hold others to a higher standard than you are willing to uphold. Even if it is public office, it is held by a human being just like you are me (actually a little different because that human is rich and hasn’t lived like you or I in a very long time). Either way, if you’re out in the world looking for a kickback, why not expect your Senator to be doing the same? It’s wrong yes, but all too acceptable everywhere for anyone to be amazed it’s happening at the highest levels. Maybe politicians and banks would feel more inclined to do moral business if “we the people” led by example. If that bank is offering you a loan you know you can barley afford turn it down. I know it’s not all black and white and it sucks not to own a home but it sucks more to know ownership only to lose it later. And I know no one reads the fine print but on a purchase as large as a home don’t you think the fine print is worth some of your time?
If you are hiring a contractor or accountant to do work for your company keep your personal shit to yourself. Even if you’re not looking for a handout and honestly just need some work done you should know in the back of your mind that the person doing that big job is going to feel they should do your personal job for less, so just take that shit elsewhere. Am I saying everything can be fixed by doing unto others or that the corruption in the world is entirely our fault? No. What I am saying is that many times as individuals we are the example and if we aren’t being such a great example then we can’t expect others not to act accordingly. We can’t stand by and allow people (Washington) to rip us off for years when it’s convenient and times are decent then throw a fit when things are tough. We need to demand morality in a uniform manner in order to receive it as such. I’m not saying everyone’s a crook or that Politicians should be held to a lower standard. I’m definitely not saying I am perfect and have never taken advantage of a sale (hello Black Friday) or fudged on my morals here and there throughout my life. I am saying that I am starting to feel that if we want to see morality in business or in our capitol, maybe, it starts at home.



Monday, March 1, 2010

Comments Are Back

So over the weekend I had tried to use Intense Debate on my blog and just found out from one of my fair readers that it was not allowing comments. I was attempting to find a way to achieve threaded comments so I could reply to comments but the one I chose failed. My comments are now back to the normal blogger format so please continue to comment as the rejection will set in deep very soon. I wish blogger would just get its shit together and offer threaded comments because I hate not being able to respond. I've thought about switching to Wordpress but if you've read me before I am damn lazy and feel as if that switch would be a lot of work. Plus I just achieved 39 followers and don't wish to lose anyone. Anywho, please continue to leave the comment love and I will post back to you here in the Jurassic way blogger allows.