Today is day 3 of Lash’s first week of preschool and I have to tell you I have felt emotions I am not used to when it comes to my kids. I mentioned a few posts ago about the new found sentimentality but along with that came insecurity, anxiety, and guilt. I had no idea what an emotional shit storm school would bring (and this is just preschool for one of my children). I have spent so much time looking forward to school as some type of escape and the path back to my freedom as a person that I didn’t know it would feel more like depression than liberation. Lash, the intelligent little adventurer that he is, was so excited on the first day. I dropped him off with the other sour faced children then proceeded to bust a tear or two in the front office on my way out (don’t worry, he was not within view of his blubbering mother). It’s not like I wasn’t happy, I was nervous for him and sad that such a huge part of my life is coming to an end. Though he only goes 3 days a week I know this is just the beginning of chaotic days and activities without mommy. Since the boys turned 2 and 3 it has been so overwhelming that I almost couldn’t deal and just wished for more me time and to be doing something MORE with my life. Watching that little dude leave me for the day snapped something and made me realize I have been doing something MORE.
As people we are so programmed to believe that only high paying respectable jobs are honorable accomplishments. Don’t get me wrong, these are important and have helped our society to stave off the upcoming entitlement generation. It makes people strive and work but, what happens when you step out of the race to raise a family? For me, the first year was fun and being that I was pregnant with Remy during most of Lash’s first year it was also a blessing. As the years have worn on, I have started to feel brain dead and worthless. Like I wasn’t giving back and I was losing myself in the monotony of child rearing. I watched my mother go through the same thing at a young age and I finally understood why she tried so hard to get out there and reclaim herself.
Watching my oldest son go to school was rough but it was last night I had my Aha! moment. I realized that my self worth is still intact because I am creating PEOPLE. I have been blessed with the ability to be here day in and day out for the formative years of my children’s life. I have been able to educate and show them things that working full time may not have allowed (don’t get yo panties in a bunch working moms, we’re all doing well in our own damn ways). Though I haven’t brought home a paycheck in almost 4 years I have done a job most would not enjoy. I have done it well too. By no means am I done, it’s only preschool after all, but I am shaking off that feeling of uselessness that was starting to swallow me. As I watch my son take on school like it’s nothing I can see what being home has done for me and my family. As their days become filled and mine empty I do hope to do something part time (what that may be is a topic all it’s own) but instead of wishing to be doing something more I now hope to just be able to do what I have been doing. I am fine with being a SAHM and I’m not going to be hatin on it anymore.
It’s only the 3rd day and soon he won’t be so excited but on this 3rd day I feel good about my boys and myself as a mom. I fuckin rock the mom thing like it’s no one’s business and my paycheck is not only what I receive but also what I am giving back to the world. My boys will be happy well adjusted adults. I am doing the job of giving the world something it is starting to lack, motivated and decent humans (fingers crossed because no matter what parents do kids can go either way). Preschool has awakened more than sentimentality, it has given me purpose and direction (as well as some much needed break time). You’re never too old to learn and at 32 the lessons just keep on coming.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
How to Play:
1. Take my fabulous new button
2. Post it
(in your post, on your sidebar... I don't give a fuck as long it's there!)
3. Then link your happy ass up!
CB is the author of a blog I recently found and now follow called One Crazy Brunette. She wips my ass in the cussing department but looks like a lady doing it. If you're brave enough link up and post the button above.
Posted by Sabreena at 8:43 PM
Friday, August 13, 2010
Several weeks ago my husband was online and saw that Madam Tussuad's Wax Museum at the Venetian Hotel had gained a wax figure of MMA fighter Chuck Liddell. Due to the fact that we are total MMA fans and we needed to get the boys out of the house
before we tied them up in their rooms and ran away from home to entertain them, we decided to make a rare trip down to the Las Vegas strip (locals avoid that shit whenever possible) and check it out. My kids haven't been down there in a while and were amazed by all of the hotels. I have never seen two people so enthralled with a parking garage. We could have hung out in there and they would have been perfectly happy but, we wanted to see the museum and I think my youngest, Remy, had a hankering to feel the camaraderie of the roulette table (not, he prefers the lavish bars like mommy and daddy).
We walked through the casino which is a very slow process with two short legged, bobble head toddlers and made our way to the counter to buy tickets. Upon entering the first room it was overly crowded and everyone was taking pictures with the figures so you couldn't walk without being a fixture in some tourists family memory. We made our way to our first wax figure of the legendary Jenna Jamison (that's right, the porn star) and this was the photo we decided to take:
Now, though we thought this was hilarious many around us did not follow suit. The boys had no clue they were just happy to be out and taking a pic. Little did any of the tourists know we were just getting started and if they were going to be near us during their tour they were going to be displeased further. Next to Jenna's waxy form was Brittney Spears and Dave was up next:
After giggling like idiotic Middle School kids we decided to try and get ahead of the crowd and went to the next room. It was my turn to take a picture with golfer and known manwhore Tiger Woods.
If this looks awkward it's because I was very embarrassed and did not get my head as close to his crotch as we had planned (not a problem for the hookers he cheated with). Just so you can see we aren't completely immature with little to know respect for our children here's one of our normal pics with Chuck (the inspiration for this naughty trip).
Yes, the face I am making here is stupid but that's how I roll (plus I hate pictures of myself and feel awkward in front of a camera). The next room held every one's favorite "alleged" child molester Michael Jackson. Can you guess who posed with him? If you said our kids then you're right (no prizes though, who do I look like, Bob Barker?)
We had told the boys to stand with their hands in a stop pose which if you look closely Lash is doing. I think Remy has some of the "Jesus Juice" in his sippy there and that may be why he seems a little more receptive to Mr. Jackson's presence (like the lucky boys who visited Wonderland). One of the last few pictures exemplifies how quickly kids can learn and then emulate any behavior:
Here you see sweet Lash molesting Madonna of his own free will. All I told him was stand next to her but he, much like his father, is a leg man (maybe because he can't reach the boobs yet).
In our defense we had fun so fuck all the tourists who were too good for our crass behavior in front of our young offspring. We took some normal pictures but these were the fun ones and reveal our sense of humor and the classy people we truly are. Besides, it was much more fun than the expensive and totally shitty Gondola ride we took afterward. The boys love boats and we were enjoying our time out so we thought we'd take the Gondola around the hotel, little did we know that shit does not go around the hotel but stays in the pond out front with a 5 minute period spent under a bridge sweating your balls off. Being a Las Vegan I welcome everyone to come here and spend money to boost our economy but I do not suggest this rip off of an activity. Spend your money at the bars, in the casinos, or at the restaurants. Do not take the gondola ride. It is expensive (they charged us full price for Lash even though he's only 3) and the ride itself does not justify the price. You'd be better off riding the double decker public transit buses up and down the strip for 7 bucks.
In the end, it was a fun day and we look forward to our next debaucherous family outing. Just wait till we hit Disney Land when the boys get a little older. The happiest place on earth has nothin on the Houstons from Las Vegas.
Do you do crazy shit like this with your family or am I the most inappropriate mother on Earth? When you see someone acting like we did do you express your distaste and utter disgust via facial expressions or do you mind your own business?
Posted by Sabreena at 3:18 PM
Thursday, August 12, 2010
My friend Nanny over at Naughty Mommy Reviews created this badass award which I coveted from the start (who doesn't want an award attached to hotness) and today she has been benevolent enough to bestow it upon me. Being a 32 year old mother of 2 and looking the way I do I have been aware of my MYLFtastic hotness for a while but Nanny's recognition has added a few more notches to my narcissism belt. The rules for the award are as follows: Make a post with the graphic and post the graphic on your blog. Nominate 5 other sexy blogs and let them know via comments with a link so they can grab the graphic. My nominees are:
2. Aunt Becky @ Mommy Wants Vodka
3. Robin @ Mass Hole Mommy
4. Dr. Heckle
5. Mary @ Pajamas and Coffee
Thanks again Nanny, and to those I have nominated, accept it and be gracious because I chose you above all the rest. You're never too good for a random award dammit!
Posted by Sabreena at 8:49 AM