Friday, February 26, 2010

New Orleans, My New City of Dreams

So, as you may have read in my previous post (there are now 35 of “you” and I am assuming because of that someone is now reading this) Vay-Cay my husband and I went away for 7 wonderful kid/cleaning/work free days. We just returned on Tuesday hence the reason I have not blogged. I had more fun in those 7 days than I have had any day of my whole 31 years of life. As I had mentioned in my earlier post the last 2 years we have gone to the Bahamas and St. Lucia. As weird and impossible as this sounds this year New Orleans kicked both of those locations ass. We awoke each morning around 1030 and left our hotel room around 12pm so the MAID could clean up after us while we enjoyed food and drink. There was so much more to do in New Orleans than any of the other exotic beach locations and since we were a block from the French Quarter and Waterfront we could walk everywhere. We took a Swamp tour which I don’t suggest in winter because anything worth seeing in the swamp is pretty much dormant during winter (which they fail to tell you or account for in the pricing but it was still fun and our guide Bishop was great). We also took a Vampire tour which sounds cheesy but is very interesting. The night of the tour the fog settled eerily on the streets of the Quarter and our guide was a fountain of facts about interesting murders and missing persons history around the city. My husband and I even tried Absinthe for the first time that same night. Not a great tasting beverage but at 120 proof you can get past the taste and right to the buzz. Speaking of buzz, Friday night of our stay I discovered a drink they call the Hurricane which did me right in said buzz department. Sadly due to our drunken euphoria my husband and I decided to go into one of the many Bourbon street nightclubs called “Love Acts” (you may be able to guess the entertainment offered at such a venue). Now, being from Vegas I enjoy a good strip club as much as the next guy (except for Cheetahs, those bitches are totally fucking for money I know it). Decent law abiding strippers are fun, soft, and a nice way to get the marital juices flowing but this strip club was straight up depressing. Pictures of pretty woman adorn the windows but these women are no where to be found upon entering. We were seated right in front of the tiny unhygienic stage after fulfilling our 1 drink minimum. Then a large breasted bad weaved dancer proceeded to clomp around the stage. No one else was tipping so my husband and placed some pity dollars upon stage and discussed how gross the establishment was and debated whether or not to stay at which time the bad weave placed my husband’s unwashed dollar bills in his mouth for him to place in between her large breasts. He obliged because spitting them out and running would have been rude. Plus, they were really big boobs (she let me feel them, such a giving young lady). Let me tell you, stripper glitter and perfume do not come off without a lot of scrubbing. The next “act” consisted of two un-endowed, bruised young girls, one complete with a c-section scar (I’m not judging I too have scars but I have chosen a more covered line of work), wobbling around together and imitating “Love Acts”. We again placed pity dollars on stage which one tried to place between my breasts so she could take them with her mouth. I politely declined as did my husband and we high tailed it out of there. Those were the first strippers I felt sorry for. They were not well kept and hot like the ones we have here. There was little to no money on stage unlike the hundreds thrown around here so it was more sad there than fun. After that we avoided all other such clubs for the rest of our trip preferring to have such experiences here at home where the biz is cleaner and the girls are hotter (again just my opinion). In summation, New Orleans is the most fun and interesting city we have been to and we are planning many trips back. We even redecorated our bathroom in New Orleans fare out of our newly found love for the place. My husband is on a Cajun cooking kick. I have fallen in love with the pastry known as a Beignet which he will be attempting to perfect this weekend. Both of us were recharged and behaving like newlyweds again. I realized more than ever that he is "The One". After 7 full days together I would have loved nothing more than to spend a full 7 more. He is really the only person I need to have a great time where ever I may be and these vacations are a nice reminder of this fact. Though the next few weeks will be spent catching up and deprogramming my boys (grandmas have little to no rules but thank gosh mine have the time to allow us such a long vacation) it was well worth it. We are already planning next year’s big 7 day bender. Who knows, maybe we’ll be lighting it up in a city near you.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Mommy Fullfillment, The Illusive Beast

A recent convo with my sister-in-law got me thinking. We were discussing having kids and getting a life, two things that don’t always coincide peacefully. We are both SAHMs and she is prego with her second child. Her oldest is going to be 5 in June. We were talking about how each kid means 5 years out of rotation. I got lucky with mine being so close I only have 5 years with probation for good behavior coming very soon (school age) but due to her kid’s gap she has added another 5 years to her sentence (provided all goes well with her husband and his job or she’ll have to hightail it back to the drive thru). Anyway, we were discussing what you do after they get to school and whether a 3rd child is needed. I mentioned how having my bachelor’s degree makes me feel as if I have accomplished something for myself with all I have given up for my little dudes. I told her I felt it was important to achieve something outside of your kids (which she hasn’t done yet) at which point the discussion went south. We don’t argue but we can get very defensive and passively aggressive during any discussion. She began informing me that she doesn’t need “paperwork” (evidently that was a name for my degree) to feel good, her kids are her accomplishment. I really like my sister in law and she is a good mom but I can’t believe she doesn’t understand what that will do later to her and her kids if they are all she does in this life. I asked her what she will do when they are 16 and want to have nothing to do with anything about her except her wallet. She said she didn’t know, have fun. I am not one to tell people what to do but I think this move toward 50’s motherhood is unhealthy. I personally think it is unreasonable to expect that your children will be that fulfilling. I love mine and want nothing more than to raise them to be decent un-imprisoned citizens but I can’t imagine that being ALL I do. I have given up a lot for them so far. My career, my freedom, my sleep. I don’t mind the arrangement (no matter how bitter I occasionally come off) but I have to know that is a temporary condition and in some mothering circles this feeling is frowned upon. As my sister in law said, I am just not as maternal as most (I am very maternal, hence the word being in my blog title). I don’t define “maternal” as the complete surrender of everything that is me. I define maternal as the fact I know what my kids need without words being spoken. Or how when they get hurt a hug and kiss from me seems to heal it immediately. I guess I got going on this because I am seeing it throughout the mommy culture. Working moms are judged for not being completely about their kids and SAHMs are expected to want nothing more than to take care of their kids. It’s okay to want something for yourself. I feel that my drive to do more while caring for my boys makes me a better mother. In making myself happy when they need me less I will be creating a happy environment for my whole family. I won’t be following my kids everywhere afraid to let them fail because their failure equals my failure. I will also be showing them that you don’t choose just one destiny in life; you choose different ones based on the needs of the moment. My conversation with my sister in law ended with me saying I didn’t mean we all need to go to school, a hobby or outside interest is more than enough which she agreed with so we found common ground. Sure, I was disturbed by the maternal comment but I know she didn’t mean it as an insult, she felt attacked by my degree and that is normal. I think that as moms we should all just agree to disagree the way my sister in law and I happily do from time to time. Then we are welcome to go on messing up our own children in our own special way. It may be said that it takes a village to raise a child but I am officially telling the village to suck it (unless of course my child is drowning or in some other form of danger then please, everyone, dive right in).

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