Wednesday, January 5, 2011

New Year?

Where the hell is the time going? I feel like I am going to wake up one of these days complaining about my hip replacement and rushing the fridge for my Ensure fix. I don’t remember a time in my life when the years went by so fast. In high school it felt like it would never end (in a good and bad way). I think that having kids is a lot like pressing the fast forward button on the remote controlling the movie of life. I spend so much time going from one phase or one first to the next that before I know it my oldest is 7 months away from entering the school system and my youngest isn’t far behind. Where did it all go?
I think it is the constant suspension you live in as a parent. Watching these people I made grow and thrive while fighting against the person they have made me. I have struggled since Remy’s birth with losing my self in the boys and I worry that I have taken for granted the years up until now. I have memories of them as babies but it all feels so rushed. Should I have appreciated more? Should I have worried less about who I was supposed to be after them? Should I have just stopped and enjoyed the sweet smell and stumbling steps along the way?

With this year I am realizing that I struggle less with the stay at home mom I chose to become. Seeing how secure, healthy, smart, and happy my boys are is slowly showing me that my decision to give up the career I worked so hard for was not wasted. I went into teaching to make a difference and found out quickly that with the current climate that was impossible. After staying home with my kids these past 4 years I am realizing that the difference I wanted to make with everyone else’s kids is being made right here in my own home. Everything I wanted to offer strangers I am here to give my own children. In college I always said if I reached just one child it would make it all worth while but, now I am reaching two in a more thorough way than I could have ever achieved in the school system.

My boys have made dreams come true I held long before they were even an idea in my head. I have spent too long worrying about all having them took from me. I should have spent it seeing all they had given me. So what if society defines your self worth based on how much you make and what you achieve. I am achieving more than my past station allowed. Someday they will need me less (if at all) and then I can find out who I was supposed to be but for now, starting with this new year, I am going to enjoy just who I am. A stay at home mom to Lash and Remy. Two little people who make the years go faster but also make them much more rewarding.

Time or circumstances may creep in like a thief and take the ability to make Lash, Remy, and Dave my sole focus. So, since you can’t get it back, from this year forward I will no longer squander this gift of time Dave has worked so hard to give to us. Life isn’t passing me by, it is escorting me into a very bright future.



Happy New Year to anyone still reading. Let’s all remember to love ourselves and live up to our own expectations and forget about those others place on us. You are the only one you have to impress.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Icognito Lipstick Vibe Review

Grrl Toyz® Incognito Lipstick Vibe, Hot Pink

As I stated last week TheirToys.com sent me the Grrl Toyz Incognito Lipstick Vibe (pictured to the right) to review. Over the weekend I was afforded the opportunity to try the item. This was no easy feat as George St. Pierre fought Josh Koscheck on Saturday night and we had to fly in and out of SF on Sunday for the Forty Niner game (both GSP and the Niners one so with the addition of Friday's Lipstick Vibe trial it was a pretty good weekend). As this is my first review I hope I do well and invite all who stumble upon it to comment and let me know what you think.

The item came quickly and was packaged in a manner that did not allow my mailman's imagination to run wild. Whenever ordering something like this online it is good to know your privacy will be protected during the item's pilgrimage to you. Upon opening the box I found the item in it's original plastic pack. It takes 2 AAA batteries which are not included. This vibrator is built for clitoral stimulation and is made to look like your average lipstick for when you would like to travel with it but do not want the TSA (or friends and family) to know you have brought along a vibrator. This fact was important to me because we vacation at least once a year and I was tired of displacing my Tiffany jewelry everytime I needed to conceal my Pocket Rocket. The vibrator itself is also very cute and girly helping it fit in with the items you would normally place in your make up bag.

The slanted lipstick shape of the tip makes it perfect for clitoral placement. The vibration of it rivals that of my trusted Pocket Rocket which I have used for years. Though it is big enough to keep a hold of, it is also just small enough to fit in between my husband and I which I appreciated because we have been looking for a vibrator that could be used during the actual "act". As for the ability of the Incognito Lipstick Vibe, I was pleasantly surprised to find it worked better than my go to vibrator. I have seen and passed up this vibrator in the past under the assumption it was more of a novelty item. I was wrong and it performs the double duty of looking inconspicuous while getting the "job" done well.

Since I am not a huge fan of penetrating vibrators I consider myself a sort of aficionado of the clitoral vibes and this item is going to be my new favorite. It is water tolerant so you can also use it in the tub. Thanks to that water tolerance clean up is easy with a little soap and water. The Lipstick Vibe is reasonably priced at 24.99 and though it was sent to me free of charge I checked out shipping under their Customer Service link and found shipping is only 9.95 on domestic orders and FREE on orders over 50 bucks.

The site itself is easy to navigate and carries a number of toys for men and women along with an array of lubes and condoms. Everything is placed in easy to navigate categories. The Lipstick Vibe can be found in the main category Vibrators under the the subcategory Mini Vibrators or by clicking the link above. Even if you're not interested in this particular item TheirToys.com is worth a visit for your next (or first) sex enhancement purchase because they have something for everyone.


Read My Disclosure Statement here.

Friday, December 10, 2010

My First Review

I am going to be posting my first product review next week. Though my blog is primarily for me to air my dirty laundry and complain to the cyber world at large I have been interested in testing out goodies and letting others know whether they're worth spending some of your last unemployment check on (sorry 99ers, it's just a joke).

Anyway, recently I was contacted by a nice woman named Brittany over at  TheirToys.com who offered me this first product review opportunity. Now, I know what you're thinking, a toy review is super sweet but they do not sell the type of toys families are dealing with at this time of year. They carry a wide and reasonably priced array of adult toys to jingle your bell. The item I will be reviewing is the Lipstick Vibe:
Grrl Toyz® Incognito Lipstick Vibe, Hot Pink
Pretty, isn't it?

The item arrived just the other day so hopefully I will be able to try it over the weekend and post the review on Monday or Tuesday. Family members and my more conservative readers need not cringe, I will keep my review clean and professional. You will not have to deal with an in depth explanation of my lady lumps or the scene in which the usage took place. Nothing but the facts in the most respectful manner I can muster. Anyone who is still reading my inconsistent experiment is invited back next week to check out this review and maybe get some ideas to make your holidays bright.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Thanksgiving

I know I have not been around much lately and I have many excuses. We went to England in October then it was in and out of San Francisco for a Niner game but mostly, I have been very lazy and uninspired. During my impromptu hiatus I have started but failed to finish at least 5 posts so in an effort to re-engage some of the followers I fought so hard to pull in I will be wading back into the blog pool.
As we all know last week was Thanksgiving. A day of food and family and ours was right on par. My mom and her husband came up from Arizona and my stepchildren made their first solo drive from California to Vegas. My father, brother, and pseudo SIL also joined us. It was a smaller gathering than most but enjoyable none the less. Dave cooked his second Turduken and that shit was great. He made the first one last year but this year he really honed his technique. I don't usually like duck but, when it's layered with turkey, chicken, and stuffing it is awesome. Dinner went well (the eating time is always greatly disproportionate to cook time on Thanksgiving) and I would venture to say everyone had fun. At least I did anyway.

Friday we got the teenagers up at 245am to join the fray that is Black Friday. As readers who've been with me from the beginning may know I fucking HATE Black Friday. People act like crack smoking homeless folk when they hit those doorbuster sales. Everyone is wondering around in loose fitting sleepwear type garments with glazed eyes and slack mouths frantically grabbing up a bunch of useless shit that cost 40 bucks the day before but now in the wee hours of the morning is selling for 18.99. They then stand in 2 hour lines to run up their burgeoning credit card debt. The only reason I consented to another Black Friday outing was my husband's yearning for the 350 dollar red enamel 10 piece Claphalon cookware set that was selling at Kohls for 179.99. Dave always has something he needs come Black Friday. The nice thing is it's usually specific and at one store so we aren't wondering around in the mosh pit of shoppers all day.

After purchasing our new cookware set (which is beautiful and well worth the inconvenience) along with a few other items we ventured to the Target next door to "take a look". What greeted us was a line wrapping around the stupid store which we had no interest in standing in. That was when we made the decision to go home and get back to our original activity, sleep.

Before you say to yourself "Wow, what a tranquil and uneventful holiday Sabreena had. She is quite the lucky lady." be aware there was a trauma. You CANNOT have a four day weekend filled with family and glutenous amounts of food without drama. My mom and her husband brought their very old and very sickly dog with them for the weekend. By Friday afternoon I think the dog had just had it with my kids. My youngest Remy was being chased by his brother and ran over the old bastard who turned around and bit right into Remy's little leg leaving a nasty but non-life threatening puncture wound. I calmed my baby and cleaned him up explaining that the doggy needed to be avoided at all cost. That advice was not to be heeded.

Later that evening Dave and I took my stepchildren out for a little toddler free time. Upon our return home we found a note explaining that the dog had bitten the same child again but this time in the face. I aroused said child from his slumber to find his lip bloodied by what looked like 4 new bites (which looked deceptively worse that night). I did not panic and run to the emergency room which I am glad for because the next day the cuts were smaller and already healing. My mom on the other hand left early and feeling horrible. We closed out the weekend with couch time and a Superman movie marathon.

Now it is five days after the attack and Remy is fine. The puncture wound is struggling to close and his mouth is a little scabby but his condition is nothing compared to what it could have been. However, when asked how his Thanksgiving was Remy pulls at his lower lip and answers "The doggy ate my face". Ahhhh memories.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Bedtime Lockdown

I am about to share with you a part of our bedtime routine which makes some mothers cringe. Now, now, don't let your mind wander because I do not have any cages laying around the house or a Tuff Shed converted into a toddler prison in the backyard. What I do is much more humane and in my experience has been suggested by experts. I lock my children's doors from the outside when they go to sleep at night. That's right, after 730 Lash and Remy lose their household privileges and are forced to stay in their rooms to do the unthinkable. SLEEP.

After you get over the original shock of hearing a mother say she locks her children's doors you may start to wonder about the possible fire hazard. Fear not good people. It's not like I have a padlock on the doors or several chain locks that would be impossible to slide in an emergency. No, we simply turned their knob locks around so the little locking mechanism faces into the hallway. In case of fire or unwanted intruder all we have to do is turn the little thingy and the boys are free!!! I have also discussed this around my firefighter brother in law and he didn't seem to disagree with it and usually he'll speak up about safety no matter what (like when we were installing our car seats without having them checked) so I took his silence as his blessing.

Now that the fire concern is out of the way and you have not decided to stop following the blog of such an evil and sadistic mother allow me to explain why I added locks to our night time routine and what information later vindicated my decision.

If you read my blog back in February you might know that my husband and I went to New Orleans for our annual 7 day kid less vacation. During our break from parenting duties my husband's mom kindly came to Vegas and watched my little dudes. She does a great job and my boys get to stay in their home while we are away allowing them some shred of normalcy without their lifeline, me. Upon our return home all seemed well until I went to bed that night. Around 10 or 11 I woke up suddenly to see a tiny little shadow scurrying around the hallway. This had never happened before because my children have been great sleepers since they were 4 months old. They had both been moved into toddler beds months prior and had never broken the golden rule of "stay". Though I knew the shadow was one of my toddlers it freaked me the fuck out. It was like one of those horror movies where a doll has come alive and is creeping around your house giggling wickedly. I got up and found my oldest Lash in the hallway. He informed me he was on his way to Remy's room for some play time. I sleepily admonished him and put him back in bed threatening bodily harm should he get up again. Though he went back to sleep that night every night after that one or both boys would get up throughout the night. I was perplexed to say the least (and tired as I hadn't had to night wakings since they breast fed).

After like 3 days of that nonsense I interrogated my father who lived with us at the time and he explained that it was something that started on day 2 of us being gone and that he had been the one to constantly put them back to bed because my mother in law is a hard sleeper. He also explained that she didn't address the situation thinking they would sleep sooner or later. She also thought they would sleep in the next day to make up for any lost sleep (which they never did because no matter what time they go to sleep or how many hours they lose at night they are up at the ass crack of dawn). I was worried because though we have a gate at the top of our stairs, my boys being the monkeys that they are, have often tried to climb the gate which leads to a straight drop down the stairs. I pictured being woken up to a broken and crying 2 year old laying lifeless on the stairs in the middle of the night. Not a picture to have in your head before bed at night.


The drop from our gate at the top of our stairs

I discussed the issue with Dave and the solution we came up with to keep Lash and Remy safe from themselves as well as preserve my much needed sleep (you haven't seen a bitch until you've seen me working off of 4 hours of sleep) was to turn their knobs around and lock them in. I know you've moved from fire terror to concern about the mental health of my kids. What would locking them in at night do to their psyche? Would they feel unloved like a dog left at the pound to rot? The answers are they're fine and no. On the first night of "Lock Down: Houston House" I explained to both boys that we would be locking their doors because it wasn't safe for them to wonder the house at night. I let them know that I had monitors for their rooms and would be able to hear them if they needed me but they needed to go to sleep and stay in their bed (or room at least) until morning. They were wary at first but have become totally used to it. Lash locks his door that leads to his Jack and Jill bathroom (a bathroom that goes through to the bedroom next to his). I placed a little potty in his room so he could relieve himself at night if he needs to, so no he isn't being denied bathroom privileges. This has worked well and though the boys still get up when they are first put to bed, they are safe and end up in bed because it is the only option after they have played for a while.

About the information that vindicated this decision. It did not come from those around me because though none of my friends judged me, none of them agreed with me either and all of them admitted they could "never" do that. I was actually vindicated by a professional (all be it one I watched on TV but a pro none the less). I was watching reruns of that show Raising Sextuplets with the sweet blonde, her anger management dropout husband, and their 6 toddlers one day when I came across an episode dealing with getting the sextuplets to stay in their rooms at night. The producers of the show brought in a sleep expert from Parenting magazine who told blondie and her agro boy to do exactly what I had already done. She explained that when children are babies their crib is their safe place at night but once they graduate into a toddler bed their bedroom becomes their crib. She explained that you must safety proof it (which I have totally done in Lash and Remy's rooms) then lock the door so they are in their safe place. Over time they will learn to just go to sleep (which my boys re-learned after a few weeks). Up until that point I was pleased with my results but wondered if I was doing something wrong. Turns out I was doing something right. I was keeping my boys safe even though those around me felt it was a radical and maybe unacceptable idea. Thank god I am a maverick when it comes to motherhood and follow my instincts not magazines and other moms or I may have had that broken toddler thought become reality.

I don't foresee locking them in forever (though when they're 16 we may turn the joint into San Quentin) but for now it seems like more of a safety requirement. Lash can unlock the front door now and Remy isn't far behind on that skill so until they can fully understand the consequences of such actions as well as the importance of sleeping they will keep their locks. And I will keep my sanity.

What about you? Do you think locking them in is a negative thing which will damage them irreparably or have you gotten an idea from this post? What do you do to keep your little creepers in at night? 

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Curse Therefore I Reap II

Several months back I wrote a little post called I Curse Therefore I Reap about my oldest son's less than stellar word choices. When I wrote that post, I believe I wrote mostly about Lash and his occasionally wayward mouth, little did I know that Remy was the key to a shitload of hurt in the fowl language department. He is 3 going on 40. He is entertaining but inappropriate with his words. A few minutes ago he called me a "dumbass" because I told him it was time to go take a nap. He has mastered cursing so well he has ventured into the forbidden arena of creating his own curse words such as his favorite "jerk ass". Remy has gone so far as to brave calling me a bitch for which he was spanked and issued a timeout (in answer to the gasp of concern and disdain you just issued, yes I spanked my son's little white ass because no matter how funny he sounds saying a curse word or how unacceptable strong parenting has become, he IS NOT going to disrespect his queen and creator. Call CPS all you want but don't forget to include Remy's ill conceived portion of the incident in your report).

Lash has outgrown curse words, going from saying them sometimes to policing others for their offenses. Remy is a different beast all together. While Lash is mature and sweet, Remy is impulsive and often angry. When Lash can be reasoned with Remy will have none of your bullshit and will call it as such. While Lash used his limited curses in the context of conversation Remy uses his for anger and pure shock value. It amazes me how far apart 13 months can be when it comes to children. Having children so close it also amazes me how utterly different they really are. Though Lash went through a short period of trying out the nasty words Remy seems to relish them using them more often than Lash even knew how to. He will say a curse word to one of us then cackle like a witch from one of those contrived Disney movies we all grew up with. Our family videos are littered with happy times punctuated by Remy's little voice calling out "shit" or "God dammit" from somewhere off camera. Different though they are, we do love them equally and try hard not to compare the two because that isn't fair to them. Remy is artistic and Lash is analytical. They should never be exactly the same. Even when it comes to something as unacceptable as cussing.

I know the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of my husband and I. After writing my previous post we have learned nothing. I just feel lucky Remy hasn't picked up more choices in words during Dave's football season rants (we're 49er fans so you can imagine the language that ensues on Sundays from August on). My Monday and Tuesday commutes to daycare and preschool could make a nun blush sometimes. Somehow, some way, we are going to have to learn to better curb our enthusiasm for use of the "bad words" in order to provide a better example and therefore live up to the expectations we place on our children. That is the starting point, and until we make a change Remy's little bouts of tourettes will get no better.

Poor little dude, if we're his only hope he doesn't stand a chance. On the bright side, at least he's verbally prepared for his eminent time in the public school system.

What do you think? Am I a bad parent or is this all par for the course? Am I the only one with a potential trucker on her hands?

 

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Day 3

Today is day 3 of Lash’s first week of preschool and I have to tell you I have felt emotions I am not used to when it comes to my kids. I mentioned a few posts ago about the new found sentimentality but along with that came insecurity, anxiety, and guilt. I had no idea what an emotional shit storm school would bring (and this is just preschool for one of my children). I have spent so much time looking forward to school as some type of escape and the path back to my freedom as a person that I didn’t know it would feel more like depression than liberation. Lash, the intelligent little adventurer that he is, was so excited on the first day. I dropped him off with the other sour faced children then proceeded to bust a tear or two in the front office on my way out (don’t worry, he was not within view of his blubbering mother). It’s not like I wasn’t happy, I was nervous for him and sad that such a huge part of my life is coming to an end. Though he only goes 3 days a week I know this is just the beginning of chaotic days and activities without mommy. Since the boys turned 2 and 3 it has been so overwhelming that I almost couldn’t deal and just wished for more me time and to be doing something MORE with my life. Watching that little dude leave me for the day snapped something and made me realize I have been doing something MORE.

As people we are so programmed to believe that only high paying respectable jobs are honorable accomplishments. Don’t get me wrong, these are important and have helped our society to stave off  the upcoming entitlement generation. It makes people strive and work but, what happens when you step out of the race to raise a family? For me, the first year was fun and being that I was pregnant with Remy during  most of Lash’s first year it was also a blessing. As the years have worn on, I have started to feel brain dead and worthless. Like I wasn’t giving back and I was losing myself in the monotony of child rearing. I watched my mother go through the same thing at a young age and I finally understood why she tried so hard to get out there and reclaim herself.

Watching my oldest son go to school was rough but it was last night I had my Aha! moment. I realized that my self worth is still intact because I am creating PEOPLE. I have been blessed with the ability to be here day in and day out for the formative years of my children’s life. I have been able to educate and show them things that working full time may not have allowed (don’t get yo panties in a bunch working moms, we’re all doing well in our own damn ways). Though I haven’t brought home a paycheck in almost 4 years I have done a job most would not enjoy. I have done it well too. By no means am I done, it’s only preschool after all, but I am shaking off that feeling of uselessness that was starting to swallow me. As I watch my son take on school like it’s nothing I can see what being home has done for me and my family. As their days become filled and mine empty I do hope to do something part time (what that may be is a topic all it’s own) but instead of wishing to be doing something more I now hope to just be able to do what I have been doing. I am fine with being a SAHM and I’m not going to be hatin on it anymore.

It’s only the 3rd day and soon he won’t be so excited but on this 3rd day I feel good about my boys and myself as a mom. I fuckin rock the mom thing like it’s no one’s business and my paycheck is not only what I receive but also what I am giving back to the world. My boys will be happy well adjusted adults. I am doing the job of giving the world something it is starting to lack, motivated and decent humans (fingers crossed because no matter what parents do kids can go either way).  Preschool has awakened more than sentimentality, it has given me purpose and direction (as well as some much needed break time). You’re never too old to learn and at 32 the lessons just keep on coming.

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