How Thomas the Tank Engine Almost Ruined Christmas

My 2 year old is OBSESSED with Thomas. It's like that train is a little crack rock and my son needs his fix. I took my boys Christmas shopping for their dad and to buy some little outfits to wear at their grandparent's house for Christmas dinner. As I am trying to find something in the sorry excuse the stores call a "Toddler Boys"aisle my little Remy sees toys (because stores like TJ Maxx and Marshalls are out to sabotage a mother's day by placing toys next to kid's clothes while their employees stare at you like YOUR fault you can't control your offspring) and immediately starts to scream "Thomas!!!!" at me and cry loudly. I try to tell him sweetly that A) Santa is going to bring Thomas if he is "nice" B) there aren't any Thomas toys there right now C) stop crying right now or you will have a time out in the car. None of these worked as he couldn't hear me over his screams. On top of that, his unruly behavior activated my 3 year old who began climbing out of the cart and screaming "I want to walk!". So now I have a chorus of "Thomas, waaaaa!!" and "Mama I want to walk!!!" as other shoppers stare at me like I have shit sprayed all over me. I did the one thing Dr. Spock and any other child "expert" would totally disapprove of, I bribed those two little people right there in the store. I offered candy in exchange for a more peaceful shopping trip. It worked. And my boys looked like this in their new shirts on Christmas day:

Lash & Remy

Thomas' path of destruction did not however end there. My husband, being the preemptive dude that he is took the boys shopping after their nap on Christmas Eve. He needed to get me a few things and wanted the boys to pick gifts for me. With sweet pictures of our little guys carefully selecting gifts of love for their mama dancing in his head my husband headed out into the war zone that was Christmas Eve shopping. Evidently the minute he hit Victoria's Secret Remy started in with his Thomas rampage. He yells his crack rock's name while crying and screaming. He didn't give a damn that Thomas the Tank Engine didn't even exist at Victoria's Secret. Surrounded by underwear, bras, and pajamas my baby wanted his Thomas. My husband high tailed it out of there because the sales girls were being rude in the first place and my son's tantrum was not helping the situation. His next stop was the Juicy Couture store where he hoped all would be better (so brave and optimistic). As my husband was shopping with his favorite salesperson my youngest started with the Thomas crap. A nice sales girl offered him a sticker in an attempt to be helpful (which is more than I can say for those bitches at Victoria's Secret). Evidently this kindness just set his tantrum into overdrive and he proceeded to obliterate a display with his foot. I am glad I was not there or I would have acted like I didn't know the child using the nice Juicy display as a soccer ball. Thankfully this ill fated shopping trip ended with some great gifts for me but has left a sour taste in my husband's mouth for shopping solo with Remy.

Thomas tragedies aside, Christmas turned out great. We had a great morning opening gifts:

We spent the evening with my husband's family which was wonderful and fun:

(Good times but Remy and I were exhausted by the end of the night)

I fully enjoyed my holiday but would like to take that little train and run it over in the street with my Yukon. I fear though that if I tried this my son would have withdrawls and have to enter rehab at the tender age of 2 which probably wouldn't look good. Maybe I will get my revenge in a few years if he outgrows this.