Friday, March 19, 2010

Hell Yeah, It's Time to Pottay!!!

You guessed it; I’ve got a toilet trainer in the hizzy. Just when I thought I was going to be changing diapers indefinitely my 3 ½ year old made the decision to start using the bathroom like a normal human being. I have been trying to get this kid to use the toilet instead of the more convenient pants option for the last year with no advancement until last week. Last Wednesday we got up and as usual I offered him the toilet but this time he willingly agreed. After, I offered underwear which he politely accepted as if I was offering the bread basket at dinner. Since that wonderful day he has only had 4 accidents. That little dude was totally playing me! Acting like he couldn’t use the damn toilet when the whole time he just didn’t want to until he was the one calling the shots. This kid has taught me and the hubs about parenting. He makes pretty much all of the decisions for his own advancements (except for bottle intervention, that was all me). He made the decision to give up his pacifier, he decided when he was going to sleep in a toddler bed, and he will soon run the world I am sure. I am very proud of him and he is totally getting a Toys R Us shopping spree tomorrow courtesy of the hubs.

Did I mention that my son is also a money grubbing whore? I tried stickers and candy to no avail. Then, while I was relaxin and partying in New Orleans my mother in law found out the kid loves money. Quarters, nickels, dimes you name it he will do anything to get some. This is what I used during toilet boot camp. Yeah, I paid my kid to shit. He doesn’t need the money now because he just goes, but that first week cost me like 20 bucks. Well worth it to only change one person’s ass in the house (my 2 year old still needs to train but I am far too focused on the on the oldest right now and don’t want to short change either kid).

This post is my up yours to the “experts” who write books and hold seminars that create panic and competition in the mommy world. I became so focused on what my kid should be doing according to other kids and books that I didn’t realize his version of “ready” was totally different from everyone else’s. “They” define ready as dry diapers and mild interest in the toilet but “they” have not met my power hungry toddler. He defines ready as “I tell you when it’s time bitch”. I am proud of my little potty pioneer. Not just that he is going to the bathroom but that he has an independent spirit and can make intelligent decisions for himself. I hope this carries through to the years when he will be offered substances and activities which are illegal and harmful. I would much rather he intelligently pick and choose his drugs and felonies than just go along with the latest high.

Lash sportin his boxer briefs

How did your kid toilet train? Was it early or late (whatever that means)?


4 comments:

  1. LMAO. Did you say your son is a money grubbing whore. LOL aren't they all. I don't read any parenting books. LOL I think it's fine that he's finally potty training. there's no law on the age. Shoot I'd use a diaper if I could sometimes. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lisa: Do you know how long it took me to figure out LMAO? I suck at this whole abbreviation thang. I would totally pull an astronaut on those long car rides just to avoid rest stop bathrooms. I think everyone is a money grubbing whore in some way he just kicked in a little earlier than expected. Money makes the world go round.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So I let Oscar potty train himself. We got him a potty chair and he hated it, I think the neighbor boys used it more then he did. And then we got him a little seat for the real toilet and he didn't use that. He just started going one day. I just figured he'd know when he was ready. It's pretty much how I do every step for him. I have yet to push him or even nudge in a direction. So now he already goes through most nights without a pull up. (Oh he's three, in case you forgot) We haven't had much trouble with him. My brother and sil potty trained both kids really early. I think their just turned 2 year old girl is already potty trained. So weird. I don't know if they're pushing them to do it or they just wanted to on their own. Oscar just goes at his own pace and I think he's on "schedule" but who knows!!
    I didn't even think about using money! That would totally work with Oscar, he's a money whore too. He loves "dollars." We were thinking of getting him his own piggy bank.
    Anyway! There's my long comment! I've been reading your blog from google reader, sorry, so I haven't been commenting. BUT I have been reading!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Randa: It is wierd. Girls seem to be ready earlier than boys. I think it's because we're just smarter from the get. The money does work, I use it for clean up too and they run to help. Thanks for letting me know you read, if I went off comments I would feel completely rejected.

    ReplyDelete

Don't hold back; I prefer the truth