WTF Have I Been Doing...

This was a draft I started sometime after April of 2011. Though it is no longer relevant to me and the last 4 years of my life I think it is relevant overall. Since I am trying to ease back into being creative I thought I would use the post below as my Christmas past to ease me into my Christmas present....

Maybe you're wondering where I went. Maybe you could care less and have just stopped visiting. Maybe you dropped out of my followers list. Whatever YOU have been doing I have been busy and was just plain blogged out. After my last post I started to feel like I was wasting time and really saying nothing of interest, so I stopped. I didn't announce the stop as I didn't feel there was anyone to announce it to. I felt it presumptuous to think there was someone out there worried about why I had stopped writing here. Today I remembered that the person I was writing for to begin with was me  and I was missing me and wondering where I had gone.

For the first few months I was busy with family and just had nothing to write about but, as of March I became a working woman again (sort of). My husband started his own business. He finally left the confines of his boss's narrow and ignorant vision to begin his own construction firm. Since then I have been running his office through our home as well as doing the stay at home mom gig. Now, my responsibilities aren't bad and come mostly after the boys go to bed but, just having responsibilities outside of my boys again has been exhilarating. I feel like I am contributing again and I am reminded that the cobwebs were just temporary and my skills are still sharp and not just memories.

My husband, in trying to pay me a compliment, explained that my skills have exceeded his expectations of what I could do. Though he meant it as a boost the comment made me a little sad and nervous. After 4 years out of the work force was this what I would face in the real world? Since Dave is my husband landing this job was a given, but had I had to interview would I have even been able to get my foot in the door or would the assumption that my brain had purged all useful information kept me from any type of career? I had many jobs prior to my husband and children including McDonalds, logistics, customer service, telemarketing, waitressing, teaching, and many more. Having knowledge of my expansive job past AND living with me Dave still wondered what I could handle so what the hell would a complete stranger think of my mommy time out's affect on my abilities to do anything except wipe noses and scrub toilets? I enjoy working again but now fear what will happen when I do decide to re-enter the work force.

How do you prove to someone that you're still relevant and useful after not working for 5 years? I could go back to school and get my Master's but that is an expensive training program which still doesn't ensure someone will hire me. I never really thought about this portion of the stay at home job. Working for Dave will definitely help thank gosh but what about all of the women who don't have a husband to work for as a means of building some current work experience prior to their children's elementary school induced exodus which leaves them with the question of "What now?". There should be a network of some kind for moms like me where they can get help or references to smooth their transition back into the work force (maybe there is, I haven't been researching). I have kept some  my connections within the school district here as best I could just in case. I guess that is a good piece of advice, when you leave keep in touch.

Right now, I am enjoying helping my husband become a success as he deserves. He spent many years building his reputation and has a real shot at being successful in an industry which is suffering greatly right now. In helping him I am gaining my professional equilibrium as well. Soon he will have an office with a hired office person whom I will hand over the reigns to but, for now, it's all me and I am enjoying it. As for what will happen later, I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Maybe I'll just become a kept woman and spend my time volunteering, prettying up my husband's arm, and telling the nanny how to raise my boys. Who knows what the future holds. I would have never thought life would be what it is now and won't even try to guess where it will be next week.

I hope you enjoyed this post even if it was from a while back. I will try to follow up soon with a "WTF Have I Been Doing" sequel to catch up on the time between writing this and now. It may take a few chapters as a lot has happened but now that I have time again I will try to document the stretch. I hope those still reading are well and anyone new returns. Talk soon!

New Year?

Where the hell is the time going? I feel like I am going to wake up one of these days complaining about my hip replacement and rushing the fridge for my Ensure fix. I don’t remember a time in my life when the years went by so fast. In high school it felt like it would never end (in a good and bad way). I think that having kids is a lot like pressing the fast forward button on the remote controlling the movie of life. I spend so much time going from one phase or one first to the next that before I know it my oldest is 7 months away from entering the school system and my youngest isn’t far behind. Where did it all go?
I think it is the constant suspension you live in as a parent. Watching these people I made grow and thrive while fighting against the person they have made me. I have struggled since Remy’s birth with losing my self in the boys and I worry that I have taken for granted the years up until now. I have memories of them as babies but it all feels so rushed. Should I have appreciated more? Should I have worried less about who I was supposed to be after them? Should I have just stopped and enjoyed the sweet smell and stumbling steps along the way?

With this year I am realizing that I struggle less with the stay at home mom I chose to become. Seeing how secure, healthy, smart, and happy my boys are is slowly showing me that my decision to give up the career I worked so hard for was not wasted. I went into teaching to make a difference and found out quickly that with the current climate that was impossible. After staying home with my kids these past 4 years I am realizing that the difference I wanted to make with everyone else’s kids is being made right here in my own home. Everything I wanted to offer strangers I am here to give my own children. In college I always said if I reached just one child it would make it all worth while but, now I am reaching two in a more thorough way than I could have ever achieved in the school system.

My boys have made dreams come true I held long before they were even an idea in my head. I have spent too long worrying about all having them took from me. I should have spent it seeing all they had given me. So what if society defines your self worth based on how much you make and what you achieve. I am achieving more than my past station allowed. Someday they will need me less (if at all) and then I can find out who I was supposed to be but for now, starting with this new year, I am going to enjoy just who I am. A stay at home mom to Lash and Remy. Two little people who make the years go faster but also make them much more rewarding.

Time or circumstances may creep in like a thief and take the ability to make Lash, Remy, and Dave my sole focus. So, since you can’t get it back, from this year forward I will no longer squander this gift of time Dave has worked so hard to give to us. Life isn’t passing me by, it is escorting me into a very bright future.



Happy New Year to anyone still reading. Let’s all remember to love ourselves and live up to our own expectations and forget about those others place on us. You are the only one you have to impress.

Icognito Lipstick Vibe Review

As I stated last week TheirToys.com sent me the Grrl Toyz Incognito Lipstick Vibe (pictured to the right) to review. Over the weekend I was afforded the opportunity to try the item. This was no easy feat as George St. Pierre fought Josh Koscheck on Saturday night and we had to fly in and out of SF on Sunday for the Forty Niner game (both GSP and the Niners one so with the addition of Friday's Lipstick Vibe trial it was a pretty good weekend). As this is my first review I hope I do well and invite all who stumble upon it to comment and let me know what you think.

The item came quickly and was packaged in a manner that did not allow my mailman's imagination to run wild. Whenever ordering something like this online it is good to know your privacy will be protected during the item's pilgrimage to you. Upon opening the box I found the item in it's original plastic pack. It takes 2 AAA batteries which are not included. This vibrator is built for clitoral stimulation and is made to look like your average lipstick for when you would like to travel with it but do not want the TSA (or friends and family) to know you have brought along a vibrator. This fact was important to me because we vacation at least once a year and I was tired of displacing my Tiffany jewelry everytime I needed to conceal my Pocket Rocket. The vibrator itself is also very cute and girly helping it fit in with the items you would normally place in your make up bag.

The slanted lipstick shape of the tip makes it perfect for clitoral placement. The vibration of it rivals that of my trusted Pocket Rocket which I have used for years. Though it is big enough to keep a hold of, it is also just small enough to fit in between my husband and I which I appreciated because we have been looking for a vibrator that could be used during the actual "act". As for the ability of the Incognito Lipstick Vibe, I was pleasantly surprised to find it worked better than my go to vibrator. I have seen and passed up this vibrator in the past under the assumption it was more of a novelty item. I was wrong and it performs the double duty of looking inconspicuous while getting the "job" done well.

Since I am not a huge fan of penetrating vibrators I consider myself a sort of aficionado of the clitoral vibes and this item is going to be my new favorite. It is water tolerant so you can also use it in the tub. Thanks to that water tolerance clean up is easy with a little soap and water. The Lipstick Vibe is reasonably priced at 24.99 and though it was sent to me free of charge I checked out shipping under their Customer Service link and found shipping is only 9.95 on domestic orders and FREE on orders over 50 bucks.

The site itself is easy to navigate and carries a number of toys for men and women along with an array of lubes and condoms. Everything is placed in easy to navigate categories. The Lipstick Vibe can be found in the main category Vibrators under the the subcategory Mini Vibrators or by clicking the link above. Even if you're not interested in this particular item TheirToys.com is worth a visit for your next (or first) sex enhancement purchase because they have something for everyone.


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My First Review

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Thanksgiving

I know I have not been around much lately and I have many excuses. We went to England in October then it was in and out of San Francisco for a Niner game but mostly, I have been very lazy and uninspired. During my impromptu hiatus I have started but failed to finish at least 5 posts so in an effort to re-engage some of the followers I fought so hard to pull in I will be wading back into the blog pool.
As we all know last week was Thanksgiving. A day of food and family and ours was right on par. My mom and her husband came up from Arizona and my stepchildren made their first solo drive from California to Vegas. My father, brother, and pseudo SIL also joined us. It was a smaller gathering than most but enjoyable none the less. Dave cooked his second Turduken and that shit was great. He made the first one last year but this year he really honed his technique. I don't usually like duck but, when it's layered with turkey, chicken, and stuffing it is awesome. Dinner went well (the eating time is always greatly disproportionate to cook time on Thanksgiving) and I would venture to say everyone had fun. At least I did anyway.

Friday we got the teenagers up at 245am to join the fray that is Black Friday. As readers who've been with me from the beginning may know I fucking HATE Black Friday. People act like crack smoking homeless folk when they hit those doorbuster sales. Everyone is wondering around in loose fitting sleepwear type garments with glazed eyes and slack mouths frantically grabbing up a bunch of useless shit that cost 40 bucks the day before but now in the wee hours of the morning is selling for 18.99. They then stand in 2 hour lines to run up their burgeoning credit card debt. The only reason I consented to another Black Friday outing was my husband's yearning for the 350 dollar red enamel 10 piece Claphalon cookware set that was selling at Kohls for 179.99. Dave always has something he needs come Black Friday. The nice thing is it's usually specific and at one store so we aren't wondering around in the mosh pit of shoppers all day.

After purchasing our new cookware set (which is beautiful and well worth the inconvenience) along with a few other items we ventured to the Target next door to "take a look". What greeted us was a line wrapping around the stupid store which we had no interest in standing in. That was when we made the decision to go home and get back to our original activity, sleep.

Before you say to yourself "Wow, what a tranquil and uneventful holiday Sabreena had. She is quite the lucky lady." be aware there was a trauma. You CANNOT have a four day weekend filled with family and glutenous amounts of food without drama. My mom and her husband brought their very old and very sickly dog with them for the weekend. By Friday afternoon I think the dog had just had it with my kids. My youngest Remy was being chased by his brother and ran over the old bastard who turned around and bit right into Remy's little leg leaving a nasty but non-life threatening puncture wound. I calmed my baby and cleaned him up explaining that the doggy needed to be avoided at all cost. That advice was not to be heeded.

Later that evening Dave and I took my stepchildren out for a little toddler free time. Upon our return home we found a note explaining that the dog had bitten the same child again but this time in the face. I aroused said child from his slumber to find his lip bloodied by what looked like 4 new bites (which looked deceptively worse that night). I did not panic and run to the emergency room which I am glad for because the next day the cuts were smaller and already healing. My mom on the other hand left early and feeling horrible. We closed out the weekend with couch time and a Superman movie marathon.

Now it is five days after the attack and Remy is fine. The puncture wound is struggling to close and his mouth is a little scabby but his condition is nothing compared to what it could have been. However, when asked how his Thanksgiving was Remy pulls at his lower lip and answers "The doggy ate my face". Ahhhh memories.