Monday, November 16, 2009

My Husband's Toy Aversion

If you have children you have "them". Toys. Maybe they're in your living room because your kids are too small to play away from you. Maybe you're lucky enough to have a playroom dedicated to them even though they find they're way out of that room and into areas of your house you'd never think to look for them. Either way, once we become parents toys become a necessary evil that must be dealt with. My kids have a way of emptying their toy shelves at an exponential rate that leaves me completely exhausted. Occasionally I have them help clean up but if you've ever cleaned with a 2 and 3 year old you know it can be like pulling your hair out strand by strand and if you want it done you'll do it yourself most of the time (screw the theory about responsibility, when they become more able I'll be more than happy to share the burden). Anyhow, most days the living room looks like a tornado has hit and FEMA is still 3 days out. This is where my husband comes in. He, like FEMA, is not proactive. He'll watch me haul the boys upstairs with the last strains of energy in my body to be used for a bath (every other night), story, teeth brushing complete with spitting, and a loving tuck in. During this time he will commence sitting on the couch or at the computer. When I return to the toy horror I, being a chick, will say nothing and begin picking up those stupid toys making sure to shoot him poignant looks which I hope convey disdain, anger, annoyance, desperation, etc. His reaction to those looks is to say "You should have told me. I would have picked up the toys." I should have to ask? I would assume that after watching me wrangle the boys upstairs nightly and seeing firsthand on weekends how hard two toddlers can be all day he would just pick up the toys some nights to be helpful. Would it kill him 2 or 3 nights a week (without being asked) to clean up toys while I put the kids to bed. That's right, I said 2 or 3 nights because I'm cool like that. I don't expect it every night. He works too hard all day to have toys as a nightly expectation and frankly some nights I don't mind doing toy detail myself. I am home all day so I see the majority of the housework as my job (bite me feminists, it's only fair). My husband does dishes once in a while and I appreciate that very much but I don't expect nor do I want him to have to dust, mop, scrub toilets, vacuum, or complete any of the other daily household duties which keep our home on that fine line between pigsty and livable space. My few expectations are that he continue to do dishes once in a while and take it upon himself a few times a week to pick up the living room our spawn has redecorated in Toys R Us chic.
So baby, tonight while I'm catching our 2 year old's spit with my eyelashes and explaining EVERY picture of the story to our 3 year old, won't you be a dear and put the toys away. At the very least, can you kick them all into a pile near the toy bins to give me a head start?


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