Theaters; A Brave New World

For about the last year and a half my husband has been itching to take our sons Lash (3 ½) and Remy (2 ½) to the movies. Based on the toddler regime which rules my house and my days I have cock blocked this idea to no end. The fact that my kids can barley sit through their 30 minute cartoons or any movie on DVD led me to believe movies at a theater were not in our immediate future and had resigned myself to the fact we would not be enjoying theater flicks as a family until the little dudes were well into high school. Because of this resignation no one was more surprised than said husband when, last night, I gave in and agreed to take them to see How to Train Your Dragon this afternoon. Now, being an ex teacher and therefore trained in the fine art of preparation, I took some time last night to show my little guys the movie trailer online as well as a picture of what the inside of a theatre looked like. Then, my husband and I explained theater conduct and expectations along with how the day would go leading up to the movie (if my 3 year old does not have a schedule laid out prior to a promised event he will spend the day asking when we are leaving so advising “after nap” or “before lunch” buys us some peace prior to any outing).
This afternoon after a less than sufficient nap, a reiteration of conduct/expectations, and the required potty break we were off to the Orleans hotel and casino to take in our 2:40 matinee. We were all excited, even yours truly who had cringed at the mere thought of such an adventure in recent weeks. As my husband drove he expressed his excitement at the prospect of spending several of the upcoming 115 degree Las Vegas Saturdays in a movie theater with our precious offspring.

We arrived 10 minutes before the movie and got in line to purchase our tickets. That’s when Remy spotted the Kid Zone (a place for parents to drop the kids while they watch a movie alone) and here is his reaction to being told we were taking in a movie instead of playing there:

Lash on the other hand could care less about Kid Zone and wanted to get his movie on.

After purchasing tickets and calming Remy we got popcorn, soda, and each child got to pick a candy. Then we rushed to the theater (in the farthest reaches of the place) and sat in our seats. I exhaled a sigh of relief when I looked back into the theater and saw it was mostly empty. That meant few people to annoy should anyone’s attitude go downhill (present company included). Here are my cuties watching the previews:

I am now going to do something amazing and admit I was totally wrong. Our toddlers are badass. We made it through the whole thing which I had thought was impossible. Lash peed 4 times and both boys ate half a box of Junior Mints each. Toward the end of the film they had to stand and watch but we were in our own row so this was fine and at 2 and 3 years old completely expected. The movie itself was good but the fact they can now go to movies is even better. Las Vegas in the summer does not make for an enjoyable park experience unless you like heat exhaustion and 3rd degree slide burns.

I think for the next movie we’ll aim for a longer nap and less candy because Remy had a fit filled come down and Lash became completely deaf to any directions upon returning home. Being tired wasn’t a total loss though because my husband made a great dinner and the boys went to bed early allowing us to watch Strikeforce on CBS in peace (hopefully Hendo wins to celebrate his migration from UFC). This mom thing isn’t so hard. After patronizing a movie successfully I think I’m ready to conquer my fear and loathing of the kiddie mosh pit they call Chuck E Cheese. Or maybe we’ll just see another movie.

I Added Pages!!!

I am slowly getting better at this blog design thang. First I found out how to add customized templates freeing me from the oppression of the boring ass blogger templates. Then I learned how to use widgets (and avoid some that totally screw your computer). Now, my friends, I have added pages to my blog (as seen up above under my title). Instead of my "About" section being on the side bar you can view my description of myself in all of its glory on its very own page. I also added a "Pictures" page to give my blog friends a little visual peek of that which I call my family. If you would like to send me an email in lieu of a comment there is now a "Contact Me" page with a form you can use. I am hoping this declutters my sidebar and makes some of the more useful things like finding out who the hell I am easier for anyone who decides to read my musings. Anyway, a pat on the back to me and enjoy my new pages.

2 Cent Tuesdays: Making Fame out of Nothing At All

As you know from my previous post Porn Stars Make Bad Mistresses I am a little stuck on this topic. It seems everywhere you turn some family wrecking hooker is interviewing or spreading for a magazine and I am starting to wonder where our celebrity culture is headed. I have wondered this in the past with Ocotmom, Jon and Kate, any one of the Real World jackasses, and the list could go on but lately it seems folks are scraping the bottom of the barrel. With all of the "alleged" cheating going on you can throw a rock without thumping one of Tiger's or Jesse's mistakes. I usually won't blame in these situations as it takes 2 to tango but with these bitches I am appalled.  I saw on Chelsea Lately that Vanity Fair did a photo shoot and article with like 5 of Tiger's dirty little secrets. Jesse James's little Nazi slut actually got herself an interview somewhere in which she included an apology to Sandra Bullock. Classic, sorry I fucked your husband and then leaked the news the day after YOU won an oscar but I felt betrayed. This is disgusting. Ignore these women already. They knew these dudes were married and famous therefore leading me to believe they knew full well what they were getting in to so I say screw them (that's right, someone already did). It’s not like they were tricked by some married guy who told them he was single and promised them a future. They did their part (mostly on their knees) and now they are obsolete. The men have their tails firmly placed between their legs and are attempting to fade into the background so why not just rid our magazines and televisions of the offensive chicks those sum bags chose to ruin their lives with. I do not intentionally watch or read anything about these debacles but they keep invading my shows without my permission and it is pissing me off. These females are not special and in most cases they are far from hot. These bitches are plain and simple home wreckers. Many better women do this quietly everyday so why can’t they?


New rule; no more air time for cheaters or their chosen not so hot messes. These women need to get jobs (or keep the ones they have) and go back to their sad little ho like existence quick like before they spawn a breed of little hookers looking for their 15 minutes of fame in some B rate celebrities' pants.

Hats Off to Single Parents

I would suck at single motherhood. I am in total awe of the women and men that do this tough and sometimes lonely job. My husband left yesterday for his 5 day sausage fest that he and his buddies call a fishing tournament in Mexico and I am already miserable. Though he doesn't do much while he is here the fact is, he is here. I have someone to talk to that knows and loves my boys like I do. When he gets home from work he deflects some of their attention from me so I can breath a little. Sometimes he even comes home midday and takes the little guys off my hands for an hour of peace. He cooks for us almost every night and his presence allows me to go to the bathroom by myself during evenings and weekends. No matter what my day is like, when we crawl into bed at the end of the day and he cuddles me everything is okay. I find comfort and companionship in my husband in a way I do not have with anyone else. I can't imagine raising my boys without him. I know it can be done but even just these few days without him I am finding it lonely and hard. Plus, if he weren't around I would have to work on top of caring for my little terrors alone so I imagine I would be totally drained. Never mind that I would sooner or later have to attempt dating which would be a whole issue unto itself for me.

A friend of ours is a single mom and I give her mad props. Raising kids is a tough job but to do it on your own is like triple duty. I am in no way saying a single parent doesn't have a good quality of life I am just saying I admire how hard it must be at times. Sometimes (okay pretty much all of the time) I take my husband for granted and focus more on what he isn't doing. When he is gone I get clarity on all he does do and it makes me appreciate my luck in finding and having him. I am so proud of all of the single parents out there. You are brave souls and you often don't get the recognition and break you deserve. I guess I'm just feeling lonely but sitting here with 2 crazy toddlers with no prospect of my husband's return until Tuesday got me thinking. I wouldn't like single parenthood and totally look up to all of those people that do it happily and successfully. My hat is off to all of you. You f-ing rock!!!

Porn Stars Make Bad Mistresses

I haven't been following the whole Tiger Woods debacle that closely but happened to see his press conference recently and afterward I found an article on AOL about how that porn star he slept with is planning a rebuttal conference. This is the same bitch that posted his nasty sexting on a website and sold the texts to several magazines. I am just completely disgusted with this tramp. Tiger is a scumbag but how low do you have to be if you're the other woman and you proceed to torture his wife with the sordid details of his affair. As a woman she should have a little respect for the wife and kids. She claims she wants an apology but that makes no sense. What should he apologize for? You came forward in your bad wig with that viper of a lawyer Allred. You made yourself the center of attention chick. I don't see the other 12 or however many chicks talking to every magazine that calls them. She acts like she's all hurt and embarrassed but if you read the texts she was nothing but Tiger's little whore. If she thought there was a relationship maybe she should go back and read the text messages herself because I deduce from them that he was just down with doing a porn start who would pretty much ho it up in a way most women won't. I don't usually feel very strongly about celebrity culture but I am really disgusted with such a trashy woman. She should think about how she would feel if she were in Elin's shoes. You've already been completely lambasted in front of the whole world and now one of your husband's several indiscretions decides to take her role as hooker and use it for a continued 15 minutes of fame. It's just wrong. She needs to go get her shit in order and move on. If I were Elin I would take that 3 iron out of the Escalade window and place it solidly up that porn sluts overly used ass.